November 22nd

A friend and colleague in ministry recently lamented one of his tasks within the church. Belonging to a national organization with assorted layers of governance means we Presbyterian ministers all have to share in the work and where different hats. One of those hats fit Jeff rather poorly the other day; you see, it got in the way of his pastor on vacation cap, causing undue discomfort. This was made all the more difficult since that alternate hat was one he normally likes to wear. Thus, Jeff’s lament seemed very poignant.
It’s bad enough when we have conflict with others over our time management. When we do it to ourselves, however, it’s even more frustrating. Now, I’m not berating Jeff his choice of doing his job despite the fact that he was on vacation, but sometimes lines have to be drawn. Oh, I know the arguments, I know that emergencies creep up, or that we’re the only ones that can do the job, or that others are counting on us, or that we should “just-stop-whining-and-get-on-with-it-because-there-are-dozens-of-people-out-there-who-would-love-our-job,” but I also know that sometimes you just have to say no.
No is a good word. It’s short, it’s easy to spell, and more importantly, it’s immediately understood. It also is very powerful, leaving little or no room for negotiation, dickering or general bargaining. It’s also sufficiently compact and economical to be repeated as often as necessary to get the point across. Jeff, I think, should have said “No.” Not out of meanness or spitefulness, but because it would have helped him enjoy his time off and not begrudge a duty he normally enjoys. It also helps him set and keep limits so that others can understand that when Pastor Jeff is on vacation, then so are all the other various titles he has as a member of the Presbyterian Church in Canada.
God, I believe, understands and appreciates a good “No.” If we’re being pushed beyond our limits or into unhealthy zones, God lets us turn away. If sin tempts us, God likes it when we refuse. When we get a dumb idea in our heads, or are invited to share in someone else’s folly, God smiles when we’re smart enough to turn it down. God also likes a good strong “Yes,” there’s no doubt about that, but in order for our affirmative responses to have real meaning, we also have to be able to say “No.” Without that ability, without that healthy balance, not only would we keep piling up things to do, we would also become robots acting without thought or understanding. After all, if you are going to say “No” you had better have good reasons, just as God would expect us to have good reasons for saying yes.
It might seem strange for me to suggest that sometimes the right answer, even to God, is a “No,” but because God works both through us, and those around us, we have to discern what really is and isn’t God’s will for us. Thus, as odd as it may feel there are occasions when the only possible, logical and irrefutable answer is indeed: “No.” At least that’s the way I see it.