A local business has, as part of its philosophy, this pithy phrase: “Love as if you’ve never been hurt. That’s a pretty deep thought, especially when you realize that the business is a fitness club. Jocks can be smart too, you know. And that truly is a smart, wise statement. Love is more than just caring for another person. It’s more than just staring at them with googly eyes or chocolates at Valentines. There is a risk involved in love that goes against the grain of the common understanding of the term.
To love truly and deeply means giving oneself truly and deeply. There is no half-hearted love, no wishy-washy love, no convenient love. Love is an all-or-nothing, no compromise thing. It is, as some marriage vows say, “for better or for worse.”
We can all deal with the “better” part of love. That’s the happy love when mother and child play happily in the park. It’s two best friends realizing that their commitment to each other is going to be a lifetime thing. It’s a stranger reaching out to help a nameless someone in need. The “worse” part of love is a mother comforting her dying child, two best friends about to be separated by factors beyond their control, one stranger trying to help another only to be mocked and scorned by them. Sometimes tough love isn’t loving folks despite themselves. Sometimes tough love is loving even though it breaks your heart.
But love at its best and its highest is indeed tough, in the sense of being strong and resilient. Tough love is love that reaches out despite the broken hearts of the past and the risk of being hurt once again.
Just ask Jesus. Just ask God. Just ask the Holy Spirit. The sacred trinity by which we understand our creator knows all about “loving as if you’ve never been hurt.” Time and time again we drive the Holy Spirit crazy by insisting on our own wisdom rather than God’s inspiration. Time and time again we push Jesus to the edge by ignoring our neighbour. Time and time again we cause God endless grief by pretending He isn’t there, even though we know better.
God’s love goes beyond those repeated hurts. God has always loved us. God will always love us. God’s love is indeed for better or for worse, extending out to us when we are most deserving and wrapping us when we deserve anything but love. From the birth of Jesus that said to us: Here I am; I love you as you are, to Jesus’ death and resurrection that said: I love you this much, and more,” God has entered into our lives with a love that not only forgets the pain we cause, but offers a way out of it.
“Love as if you’ve never been hurt:” it’s God’s way. It’s the only way.
To love truly and deeply means giving oneself truly and deeply. There is no half-hearted love, no wishy-washy love, no convenient love. Love is an all-or-nothing, no compromise thing. It is, as some marriage vows say, “for better or for worse.”
We can all deal with the “better” part of love. That’s the happy love when mother and child play happily in the park. It’s two best friends realizing that their commitment to each other is going to be a lifetime thing. It’s a stranger reaching out to help a nameless someone in need. The “worse” part of love is a mother comforting her dying child, two best friends about to be separated by factors beyond their control, one stranger trying to help another only to be mocked and scorned by them. Sometimes tough love isn’t loving folks despite themselves. Sometimes tough love is loving even though it breaks your heart.
But love at its best and its highest is indeed tough, in the sense of being strong and resilient. Tough love is love that reaches out despite the broken hearts of the past and the risk of being hurt once again.
Just ask Jesus. Just ask God. Just ask the Holy Spirit. The sacred trinity by which we understand our creator knows all about “loving as if you’ve never been hurt.” Time and time again we drive the Holy Spirit crazy by insisting on our own wisdom rather than God’s inspiration. Time and time again we push Jesus to the edge by ignoring our neighbour. Time and time again we cause God endless grief by pretending He isn’t there, even though we know better.
God’s love goes beyond those repeated hurts. God has always loved us. God will always love us. God’s love is indeed for better or for worse, extending out to us when we are most deserving and wrapping us when we deserve anything but love. From the birth of Jesus that said to us: Here I am; I love you as you are, to Jesus’ death and resurrection that said: I love you this much, and more,” God has entered into our lives with a love that not only forgets the pain we cause, but offers a way out of it.
“Love as if you’ve never been hurt:” it’s God’s way. It’s the only way.
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