During my recent retreat, I did a lot of thinking, reading and reflecting. I also spent some of my time away with a trusted friend and counsellor, whose friendship and advice has seen me through many ups and downs. In our conversation I shared what I do with the Pensive Pastor. Glen listened politely as I spoke excitedly, and then shared this thought: it’s important to keep the love of God foremost and to try to avoid trite moralisms whenever you’re sharing your thoughts. As he spoke those words a little dull light in the back of my mind suddenly shone brightly. I realized through his words what I had been feeling in my heart. While I enjoy sharing my thoughts with you, I’ve been conscious of a certain tiredness and staleness on my part. It wasn’t something that was firmed up until Glen shared his thoughts, but now I am certain that what I’ve been doing with my Pensive Pastor isn’t as deeply satisfying as it once was. Sure, there is a ton of material out there and I have plenty of thoughts and reflections to think about, but the actual act of sharing them this way feels more like a work of trite moralism rather than sharing God’s love.
This is telling my heart that it’s time to bring the Pensive Pastor to a dignified close. It’s not a sabbatical, not a break, not a pause for the summer, but the end of these weekly writings. This isn’t an easy decision, but it is one that is personally healthy for me, and I think for all you readers, too. After all, isn’t it better to have a strong, healthy Pastor firing on all cylinders? So, rather than simply continue with an exercise that is no longer providing great joy or challenge, I’m putting this to a rest. I will continue writing and thinking and reflecting on the day to day events that impact life and help reveal or teach about God’s love and work in our lives, but they will come out in different, as yet undetermined ways.
It’s not a question of workload. It’s not a question of dislike for the exercise. It’s not even a question of running out of material, as I suggested earlier. It’s simply a matter of moving on before things get stale or ponderous or unproductive.
God created us with unique and special gifts. Looking at this world from a slightly odd perspective and sharing how that vision points us closer to God is one of my gifts. God also gives us seasons in our lives to use those gifts in different ways, depending on a combination of His needs, our needs and the needs of those around us. At this point, I feel God is suggesting rather strongly that the season of the Pensive Pastor has run its course and that a new season is about to dawn. I must respect that calling, since He is the one who loves us and knows what’s best for us. Mind you, His plans aren’t always easy to follow; it is with great sadness that I rest the Pensive Pastor’s rest. There is, however, also a sense of relief and of joyful anticipation to see what’s next. After all, our greatest happiness comes from honouring God’s loving plan for us, even if that plan involves changing ourselves a little bit. At least that’s the way I see it.
This is telling my heart that it’s time to bring the Pensive Pastor to a dignified close. It’s not a sabbatical, not a break, not a pause for the summer, but the end of these weekly writings. This isn’t an easy decision, but it is one that is personally healthy for me, and I think for all you readers, too. After all, isn’t it better to have a strong, healthy Pastor firing on all cylinders? So, rather than simply continue with an exercise that is no longer providing great joy or challenge, I’m putting this to a rest. I will continue writing and thinking and reflecting on the day to day events that impact life and help reveal or teach about God’s love and work in our lives, but they will come out in different, as yet undetermined ways.
It’s not a question of workload. It’s not a question of dislike for the exercise. It’s not even a question of running out of material, as I suggested earlier. It’s simply a matter of moving on before things get stale or ponderous or unproductive.
God created us with unique and special gifts. Looking at this world from a slightly odd perspective and sharing how that vision points us closer to God is one of my gifts. God also gives us seasons in our lives to use those gifts in different ways, depending on a combination of His needs, our needs and the needs of those around us. At this point, I feel God is suggesting rather strongly that the season of the Pensive Pastor has run its course and that a new season is about to dawn. I must respect that calling, since He is the one who loves us and knows what’s best for us. Mind you, His plans aren’t always easy to follow; it is with great sadness that I rest the Pensive Pastor’s rest. There is, however, also a sense of relief and of joyful anticipation to see what’s next. After all, our greatest happiness comes from honouring God’s loving plan for us, even if that plan involves changing ourselves a little bit. At least that’s the way I see it.
No comments:
Post a Comment